On being… A good leader

I recently connected with a new client who had relocated and sought leadership coaching. In this post, I’m thrilled to share my approach to coaching both current and future leaders.

Let’s begin by contextualising my work through an exploration of the top five goals for leadership coaching, detailing how I guide clients in reaching these objectives.

  1. Boosting Confidence:

    The most common goal in leadership coaching is boosting confidence. When tackling this objective, I initiate the process by reframing the very essence of confidence building. This journey unfolds across three integral components, with the first step being goal setting.

    I engage my clients in a thought-provoking exercise, posing the question, "If you did feel confident, what actions would you be taking?" This strategic enquiry serves as the cornerstone, recognising that true confidence is cultivated through tangible actions. By delving into the specifics of potential actions unhampered by confidence concerns, we explore a spectrum encompassing the adept management of interpersonal relationships, the navigation of strategic decisions, the application of emotional intelligence, the establishment of measurable objectives, and the formulation of actionable plans.

    This deliberate exploration becomes a pivotal springboard, enabling clients to envisage and articulate the concrete steps they would take if confidence were not a limiting factor. The overarching aim is to install the understanding that confidence is not merely a state of mind, but a product of proactive engagement and intentional actions in various facets of leadership.

  2. Increasing Self-Awareness:

    Transitioning to the second pivotal goal in leadership coaching, we delve into the realm of increasing self-awareness. This goal involves a comprehensive exploration of both the strengths and weaknesses inherent in the leader I’m working with. This marks the introduction of the second phase of my coaching methodology, which centres on unpacking and understanding the barriers that stand between leaders and their goals.

    This nuanced process often reveals a correlation between these barriers and the identified weaknesses. Within the expat community, leaders frequently express a desire for improvement in cross-cultural leadership. This extends to navigating challenges such as bridging language barriers, adeptly managing cultural differences, and fostering motivation within a culturally diverse team. The focus shifts to not only recognising the areas for development, but also cultivating a heightened awareness that paves the way for targeted and effective coaching strategies.

  3. Developing Team Building Strategies:

    Moving on to another prevalent goal, the development of effective team-building strategies. One barrier for expat leaders is a fear of inadvertently causing offence due to a lack of awareness, particularly in the context of managing cultural differences. Recognising this fear marks the transition into the third phase of my coaching approach, the "4-step Change Process" – a comprehensive toolkit designed for lasting change.

    At the heart of my coaching philosophy lies the two-minds concept. As you engage in reading this article, you're operating within the realm of your "Conscious Mind," where wisdom, kindness, logic, and values reside – the ideal space for leaders to operate from. Yet, we also navigate the terrain of the "Rooted Mind," the source of thoughts, feelings, and urges. Addressing the fear of causing offence becomes crucial, as it is a narrative concocted by the Rooted Mind. Left unchecked, this fear can "hook" the Conscious Mind, leading to counterproductive avoidant behaviour.

    The first step in the Change Process is the "Focus Reset," aiming to create distance between the Conscious Mind and the Rooted Mind. This empowers the Conscious Mind to make choices without being paralysed by the stories fabricated by the Rooted Mind. Following this, the second step, "self-compassion," emerges as a pivotal element, especially for leaders who may resist acknowledging anxiety at work. Building self-compassion fosters flexibility, encouraging a forward-facing approach rather than evasion of emotions.

    The third step, "Reframing," becomes paramount when developing team-building strategies. Understanding the context is the initial thrust – for example, identifying any existing team conflicts. Collaborating closely with clients, I assist in uncovering their leadership values, forming the bedrock for an action plan. Past experiences have included engaging with individual team members to comprehend their perspectives, goals, and motivations.

    Subsequently, I work with clients in crafting a suite of team-building ideas tailored to their unique context, ensuring they pass the critical "Mirror Test." This litmus test necessitates leaders to look at themselves in the mirror and confidently affirm their commitment to the actions taken – a tangible measure of the integrity and impact of their leadership decisions.

  4. Conflict Resolution Skills:

    The fourth key objective in leadership coaching centres around the development of conflict resolution skills. This pivotal aspect of my coaching methodology involves a three-part approach.

    Firstly, we embark on a journey of goal-setting. I guide my clients in understanding their ultimate objectives when faced with workplace conflicts. Whether they find themselves at the heart of the conflict or it involves other team members, clarifying desired outcomes becomes paramount. Questions arise: How do they envision acting, thinking, and feeling amidst the conflict? What are the desired outcomes for the individuals involved, as well as for the broader team or organisation?

    Next, we delve into identifying the barriers hindering the realisation of these goals. I emphasise a fundamental mantra of my coaching philosophy – "Change the things you can change, accept the things you can't." It underscores the reality that while we can't control others' actions, we can influence and motivate change.

    Moving into the Reframing step, leaders critically evaluate the choices available to them. They weigh the pros and cons of each option and align their decisions with their core values.

    An important addition to this process is the "5-minute question" at the end of the Reframing step. Here, leaders ask, "Is there anything I can do about the situation in the next 5 minutes?" If the answer is yes, immediate action is encouraged. If it's negative, the focus shifts to the second part of the question: "If the answer's no, what do I want you to do instead of ruminating?" This intentional redirection is crucial as dwelling on a conflict can have far-reaching effects, potentially impacting other facets of a leader's professional and personal life.

    This seamlessly propels us toward the fourth and final step of the Change Process – Mindful Valued Living. Centred on the concept of taking meaningful action with mindfulness, this step encapsulates the essence of transformation and growth in the face of workplace conflicts.

  5. Managing Transitions:

    Now, let's explore the final key goal in leadership coaching — managing transitions. This encompasses a spectrum of changes, whether it involves taking on a new role within an existing structure or embarking on a move to a new continent, country, or state for a fresh professional opportunity.

    To navigate this change, I once again commence with the cornerstone of goal setting. I prompt reflection on the desired state of affairs — envisioning how things should unfold after one, three, or six months, or even a year. This encompasses various aspects, including workflow, relationships, and the delivery of results.

    From this starting point, we seamlessly integrate the 4-step Change Process. This strategic framework becomes our guide, helping construct a tangible pathway from the initial day of coaching to the ultimate goal. Throughout this journey, we actively engage in experiments to gather valuable outcome data. This empirical approach is instrumental in distinguishing between actions that prove effective and those that may be deemed unworkable.

    Consistent with my overarching approach, the linchpin of this process is grounding actions in personal values. The aim is to ensure that each step taken aligns authentically with the values that underpin a leader's identity and principles. This not only enhances the effectiveness of the coaching process but also fosters a sense of purpose and authenticity as leaders navigate critical transitions in their professional journey.

Are you ready to redefine your leadership narrative? If you, or someone you know resonates with these challenges, it's time for a change. Book your discovery call with me today. Let’s embark on a transformative leadership journey together.

Thank you for reading this blog, and take care.

James

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On being… An expat

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On being… A trailing spouse